EVIDENCE-BASED PARENTING & EDUCATION

Practical Tools for Raising Thriving Children

WHAT WE OFFER AT SCIENCE MINDED

At Science Minded, we offer a range of services designed to empower parents and educators with practical, evidence-based tools to support children’s growth and development.

Circle of Security Parenting Programs

Discover how to strengthen your bond with your child and meet their emotional needs through this proven, research-backed program.

Learn more

Evidence-Based
Parent Guides

Learn more about your child’s development with clear, research-driven insights designed to support your parenting journey.

Parenting
Masterclasses

Expertly crafted and delivered by developmental psychology specialist Dr Siobhan Kennedy-Costantini, these sessions explore key topics in child development and parenting.

Sensory Classes for Early Learning

Engaging sensory programs for children aged 0–3 years, fostering exploration, learning and growth in the early years.

ABOUT ME

DR SIOBHAN KENNEDY-COSTANTINI

As a Child Development researcher with over a decade of experience, I’ve dedicated my career to studying children’s social and cognitive development and the unique dynamics of the parent-child relationship.

I’m passionate about empowering parents and Early Learning educators with science-based knowledge, practical tips and inspiring resources that reveal the magic of a child’s mind. Through my work, I share the science of childhood with the adults that shape it.

GET IN TOUCH

Lazy parenting isn’t about neglecting kids—it’s about stepping back and allowing them to develop independence, problem-solving skills, and resilience without constant intervention. It’s sometimes called “intentional under-parenting” or “benign neglect” and is rooted in child development research that highlights the importance of autonomy in learning and emotional growth.

What Lazy Parenting Is
✔️ Encouraging children to solve problems on their own before stepping in
✔️ Allowing natural consequences to teach life lessons
✔️ Giving kids space to entertain themselves instead of always structuring their time
✔️ Fostering independence by letting them do age-appropriate tasks without interference

What Lazy Parenting Isn’t
❌ Ignoring children’s needs or safety
❌ Being emotionally unavailable
❌ Avoiding guidance, structure, or boundaries

🤓The Research Behind It

Self-efficacy and problem-solving: Studies show that children who are given opportunities to struggle and succeed independently develop higher self-efficacy

Resilience & autonomy: Research on child resilience highlights that “helicopter parenting” can hinder children’s ability to develop autonomy and cope with stress.

Intrinsic motivation: When kids have the chance to explore and make choices, they develop stronger intrinsic motivation, which is key for lifelong learning and perseverance.

How to Try Lazy Parenting
💡 Create a 'Yes Space' where they can freely explore filled with age-appropriate items that do not require close supervision for safety
💡 Instead of immediately tying your child’s shoes, encourage them to try first
💡 When they say they’re bored, resist offering a solution—let them figure it out
💡 If they're rushing and holding a drink, let them experience the natural consequence (it spilling everywhere) and problem-solve for what to do differently next time
💡 Give them real responsibilities, like setting the table or putting their clothes away

Lazy parenting is really strategic parenting—it’s trusting in your child’s ability to grow and learn through experience. Less hovering, more thriving. 🚀

References: Bandura, 1997; Deci & Ryan, 2000; Segrin et al., 2015

Parenting is one of the most high-stakes job, and it comes without any kind of annual review or feedback. It's common for us to question how we're doing, feel like we're doing it all wrong and try desperately for hacks, tips, tricks and guidance.

Almost 45% of parents say they have felt directly shamed for their parenting approach. The things they’re are most often shamed for? Their child’s behaviour, the way they discipline, amount of screen time and being a working parent.

Research shows that social media contributes to parents’ feelings of inadequacy. When you only see the happy snaps and fun activities, not the meltdowns or hard days it can create a ‘pretty’ version of ‘perfect’ parenting. This can cause parents to fear they’re not living up to the (unattainable) standard that’s been set.

On top of this self-judgement, we’re often held responsible for children’s behaviour in the moment. What’s missing when these judgements are made is the context surrounding the behaviour. Maybe the child has a development delay, maybe they’re hungry, tired or have just had a bad day.

Parenthood is a tough gig! We all make choices that are the best we can make in the moment. Research shows that when parents are shown compassion (or show compassion towards themselves) they are less stressed, have a greater sense of well-being and are more generally happier.

Sure, another parent’s choices might not be the fit right for us and that's okay. It’s important to support and embrace everyone's right to do what works for them and their family. More empathy and less judgement can only be a good thing.

The fact that you're questioning yourself is actually a good thing. It shows that you're reflecting on your capacity, your performance. It means that you care. Any kid with a parent who cares enough to question what they're doing, be intentional about their choices is one lucky kid. Your kiddo is lucky to have you.

References: Cha et al 2020, Mitchell et al 2018; Liss et al 2013; Shalev et al 2023

References: Shalev et al 2023

Why I Do This Work

I’ve been fascinated by child development for as long as I can remember. As a child, I would hide behind the door of my mum’s speech therapy practice, listening in on her sessions—absorbing every strategy, every insight she shared with parents. She taught me about dyslexia, Down syndrome, autism, and all the incredible ways our brains are wired.

So, I followed that passion. I studied psychology at university, took every child development class I could, and immersed myself in the world of early cognitive and social development. I traveled to conferences, studied under some of the best minds in the field, completed a PhD, and worked internationally—teaching psychologists, social workers, teachers, and doctors about child development.

And then… I became a parent.

I thought I knew what to expect. I had the knowledge, the experience. But nothing prepared me for the reality. A baby who never slept more than an hour at a time for 10 months. Gastro issues. A traumatic birth. A pandemic. Perfectionism. A desperate need to control what I couldn’t. It spiraled into postpartum anxiety, depression, and eventually, sleep deprivation-induced psychosis. I had a nervous breakdown.

It took years of therapy, EMDR, nervous system and trauma-informed healing, and attachment work to find my way back to myself. To feel settled. To trust myself as a parent. And now, I bring all of that here—to this space.

Not just the knowledge, but the lived experience. The profound empathy. The evidence-based insights. The desperate desire to help anyone who feels as stuck as I once did.

You are not alone. You are not failing. And if you’re in the thick of it, I see you. I’ve been there. Let’s figure this out together.

#ParentingJourney #ChildDevelopment #AttachmentParenting #PostpartumHealing #ScienceMinded #BreakingCycles

#selfcare #nervoussystemregulation #awareparenting #AttachmentParenting #ConsciousParenting

At any time it's all too easy to feel like you're not a good enough parent. We scroll through our phones looking for advice, tips or tricks to make this thing ANY easier because it all feels a bit too much. But there is a reason parenting feels bloody hard. That’s because it is.

Let’s get rid of the “stepford wife” version of parenting where we lie and pretend we have perfect children, a perfect house, a perfect partner and everything is magical and beautiful and we’re #blessed. Sure, we are blessed and sure, we’re grateful for the chaos monkeys that are our children, but my goodness it’s hard work. Parenthood is a tough gig! We’re all making choices that are the best we can make in the moment.

When the kids are fighting, throwing things or losing it – we feel rubbish. When they’re being delightful and playing quietly by themselves and instead of engaging with them we’re scrolling on our phones – we feel rubbish. We hold our parenting to an impossible standard and are surprised and angry with ourselves when we fail to meet it.

We're all just doing our best. Don't be fooled by the perfect photos on social media and start comparing yourself to others. They're the highlights, the best bits. Who wants to post their toddler’s meltdown, dinner thrown on the floor, or giant pile of unfolded laundry?

Let’s all be okay with being ‘good enough’. You've got this. You're doing your best. We all are, especially in these 'unprecedented times'

#scienceminded #goodenough #momguilt #mumsofinstagram #postnataldepression #perfectparenting #postnatalanxiety #momguiltisreal #honestmotherhood #toddlertantrum #tantrums #goodenoughmother #goodenoughparenting #responsiveparenting #postpartumdepression #postpartumanxiety #instafam #mothersofinstagram #zerojudgement #perfectmother #momsofinstagram #newborn #parentingishard #baby #toddler #happysnaps #pandemicparenting #goodenough

Before kids, I had so many parenting theories… and now? I mostly have cold coffee and a suspiciously quiet toddler. ☕👀

Here are just a few things I wish someone had warned me about:

😅 Silence is NEVER a good sign
😅 Hot coffee? A distant memory
😅 Bedtime is an Olympic-level event
😅 Personal space? Nope, not a thing

Parenting is equal parts chaos and comedy, and honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing (except maybe the sleep deprivation). 😴✨

👀 What’s something YOU wish you knew before having kids?
Drop it in the comments and let’s laugh/cry together! ⬇️

#ParentingHumor #ThingsIWishIKnew #MomLife #DadLife #ParentingRealTalk #GentleParenting #AttachmentParenting #RaisingKids #ScienceMindedParenting

Breastfeeding can be a beautiful and meaningful experience, but it doesn’t always unfold that way. There are many valid reasons we may choose not to, or not be able to, breastfeed our baby—and that’s okay. The decision to breastfeed (or not) is entirely personal. I write this as a Mama who breastfed both my babies (the first with ease, and the second with much more difficulty).

If breastfeeding a baby is hard (it is), then talking about it—especially in a sensitive and supportive way—can be even harder. The debate often gets reduced to phrases like “Breast is Best” or “Fed is Best,” but in reality, “Health is Best” and what is "healthy" is different for everyone, and every family.

A staggering number of women who want to breastfeed stop before they feel ready. This happens for so many reasons, often leaving them with complex emotions like grief, frustration, guilt or shame. And heartbreakingly, many women blame themselves.

In a society that undervalues breastfeeding—and values mothers’ feelings even less, these struggles often go unacknowledged. But dismissing these experiences can deeply impact mental health and shape how we experience early motherhood.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach. The “right” amount of breastfeeding looks different for every mother and baby. Breastfeeding benefits only matter if they aren’t outweighed by stress or struggle. If it costs your sanity, it’s no longer liquid gold.

❤️ Key Takeaways ❤️

If breastfeeding doesn’t go as planned (or doesn’t happen at all), that’s okay. You and your baby can (and will) still be happy and healthy.

It’s not all or nothing—using formula doesn’t mean you’ve “failed” or have to stop giving breastmilk.

The right amount of breastmilk is whatever works for your preferences, lifestyle and individual needs.

🥛Did your breastfeeding journey go to plan? Share your story in the comments, this is a safe, kind and welcoming space.

📖 References: Brown 2016; Brown 2019; Dyson et al. 2005; Renfrew et al. 2005; Chung et al. 2008; Lumbiganon et al. 2011.

What does a baby NOT have in common with milk, meat and the latest ACOTAR book? They cannot be spoiled. Why? Because...

🔅Babies thrive on affectionate love.

When babies receive food, nappy changes & little else, they wither. If they receive partial attention, it’s still not enough - they won’t reach their full potential. Babies do best when at least one person thinks the sun rises & sets with them. In fact, babies prefer a community of close, responsive caregivers with their mother nearby.

🔅Babies expect to move, play & learn.

Babies expect to be “in arms” or on the body of the caregiver most of the time. Skin-to-skin contact is a calming influence. Babies expect to be in the middle of community social life, they’re ready to play from birth. Play is a primary method for learning & builds intelligence.

🔅Babies are social mammals with social needs.

Social mammals emerged 30+ million years ago along with intensive parental investment. These include many months of breastfeeding for optimal development, nearly constant touch & physical presence of caregivers, free play with multi-aged playmates, + soothing experiences. Each of these has significant & lasting effects on physical & mental health.

🔅Culture doesn’t erase the needs of babies.

Many in our society advocate violating these needs so to better fit expectations of how things 'should' be. Failure to meet our babies’ very human needs creates stress that is encoded into their bodies, affecting things like their immune, endocrine & vascular systems. The rationalisation of “culture over biology” reflects a basic misunderstanding of human nature.

🔅What can with do with this knowledge?

Be aware of these needs, interact sensitively & responsively with the babies you encounter. Support parents. Continue to learn, read & be open to lessons from the best teachers around – our babies themselves.

References: Anderson 1991; Faircloth 2014; Narvaez 2011

#cantspoilababy #affectionatelove #nursingtosleep #feedingtosleep #sleepassociation #sleeptraining #attachment #postnataldepression #postnatalanxiety #postpartumdepression #postpartumanxiety

Ever tried explaining a joke to a 5-year-old and been met with a blank stare? Or, like me, packed a perfectly good lunch only to have it go uneaten because it wasn’t called a "sandwich"? 🤦‍♀️

That’s because young children are literal thinkers—and there’s solid brain science behind it! 🧠✨

At this age, their cognitive development is still moving from concrete thinking (things are exactly as they seem) to abstract thinking (understanding jokes, sarcasm, and flexible meanings). According to research, this shift happens gradually as their prefrontal cortex develops—the part of the brain responsible for reasoning, problem-solving, and perspective-taking.

So when the teacher said, “Time to eat your sandwiches!”, my son’s brain went: Scroll ≠ Sandwich = Not food. 🥯🚫

It’s the same reason kids struggle with figurative language ("break a leg"), sarcasm, or why they take rules very seriously. Over time, with exposure to different ways of thinking (and lots of giggles at our metaphors), they’ll start making those connections.

Until then, I’ll just be calling his lunch “circle toast.” 😂

Has your child ever taken something way too literally? Drop your funniest story in the comments! ⬇️

#LiteralKids #CognitiveDevelopment #FunnyParenting #PreschoolLogic #EarlyChildhoodDevelopment

References: Piaget 1962; Kosslyn & Kagan 1981; Tuch 2011

"Oh, that’s quite an age gap."

She didn’t mean anything by it. Just small talk. A passing comment. But those words landed in a place she couldn’t see.

Because if things had gone to plan, my children would be closer in age. Life had other plans. I spent that time in survival mode—pushing through postnatal depression, anxiety, and psychosis. I wasn’t ready for another baby. I was barely holding on.

That age gap wasn’t a choice. It was survival. It was healing.

So, before we comment on someone’s family size, age gaps, or how many kids they have, let’s pause. Because we never truly know what’s behind the numbers. And we never know where our words will land.

When has someone's "passing comment" swirled around your head over and over because they had know idea those words would land right in the middle of your pain, grief and sadness? Let me know below in the comments. I would love to be able to hold space for you ❤.

#YouNeverKnow #WordsMatter #ParentingJourney #BeKind

Parental Reflective Functioning is beneficial in so many different ways:

Secure Attachment:
High levels of PRF contribute to the development of secure attachments, as children feel understood and valued, fostering a strong emotional bond with their parents.

Emotional Intelligence:
PRF enhances children's emotional awareness and intelligence, as they learn to identify and articulate their emotions and understand those of others.

Emotion-Regulation:
Parents who practice PRF report better self-regulation and have children who are better at regulating emotions and behaviours because they have a model for understanding and managing feelings.

Resilience:
Reflective parenting helps children develop resilience by providing a safe environment to explore and express emotions, leading to better coping strategies.

Mental Health:
High PRF in parents is associated with lower levels of anxiety, depression, and behavioral problems in children, as it promotes a supportive and nurturing environment.

Positive Parent-Child Interactions:
Reflective functioning leads to more attuned and responsive parenting, resulting in fewer misunderstandings and conflicts and more positive interactions overall.

When we think about things from our child’s point of view, are reflective and empathetic, we create the kind of environment that help our children develop into empathetic, resilient and well-adjusted individuals.

PRF is something we can WORK towards improving. With guidance and practice, we can increase our PRF and in turn, reap the benefits it offers. By improving our reflective functioning, we create a secure, emotionally rich environment where children feel truly seen, understood, and valued.

Reflective Functioning is one of the foundations of the “Circle of Security” Parenting Program and has absolutely changed how I (and so many others) engage with my children. If you want your parenting to feel more connected, calm and confident comment CIRCLE below or check out the link in my bio.

References: Slade 2005; Camoirano 2017; Luyten, Nijssens, Fonagy & Mayes 2017; Lo & Wong 2022

Rupture & Repair is one of the cornerstones of the Circle of Security Parenting Program and has absolutely changed how I (and many others) engage with my children.

If you want to feel more connected, calm and confident in your parenting comment CIRCLE below or shoot me a DM.

#CircleOfSecurity #AttachmentMatters #RuptureAndRepair #ParentingWithEmpathy #SecureAttachment #EmotionalConnection #ParentingJourney #ParentingScience #AttachmentTheory #MindfulParenting #ConnectionBeforeCorrection #ParentingTools #ParentSupport #ResponsiveParenting #ParentingWithLove #EmotionalSafety #ParentingWins #ParentingHelp #ChildDevelopment #ParentingResilience #ParentingTips #AttachmentRepair #ParentingTogether #ParentingEducation #ParentingGrowth #EmotionalWellbeing #SecureRelationships #ParentingChallenges #GentleParenting #RepairAndReconnect

Feel like this could be the thing to break cycles and give you some breathing space? Comment CIRCLE or shoot me a DM for more information.

#CircleOfSecurity #ParentSupport #ParentOverwhelm #ParentingJourney #EmotionalConnection #SecureAttachment #ParentingWithEmpathy #ConnectionBeforeCorrection #ParentingWins #AttachmentParenting #ParentingHelp #EmotionalSupport #GentleParenting #ParentingChallenges #ParentingTips #ParentingTools #MindfulParenting #AttachmentTheory #ParentingTogether #ParentingScience #ResponsiveParenting #ChildDevelopment #ParentingResilience #ParentingEducation #ParentingIdeas #SupportForParents #ParentingStruggles #ParentingConnection

I've been trying to post for days and this is what I can manage 🫠🫠🫠

#ParentingIsHard
#OneDayAtOneDayAtATimeATime
#ParentingJourney
#TiredParent
#CleaningUpAgain
#ParentLife
#ParentPressure
#ParentingStruggles
#ToddlerMeltdown
#OverwhelmedParent
#AmIDoingThisRight
#NeedABreak
#MentalLoad
#GentleParentingIsHard
#ParentingComparison
#MumGuiltIsReal
#UnseenWork
#ParentReferee
#MindfulParenting
#UnruffledParent
#TeachingEmotionalRegulation
#ParentingFail
#DoingOurBest
#ParentingWithLove
#SleeplessNights
#BigEmotions
#EverydayChallenges
#PatienceIsHard
#ParentingPressure
#LearningAsWeGo

🗨️ What do you think it is?

❤️ What would you love to see more of as I take this next step?

#newdirections #nextstep #childdevelopment #scienceminded #ScienceMindedParenting #parentingsupport #secureattachment #circleofsecurity #parentingtips #supportingparents #EarlyLearning #earlylearningcentre

Being a kid can be frustrating & confusing. Dozens of times a day you’re told you can’t do what you want for reasons that don’t make sense to you.

Play is one of the best tools we have to help during these times. Here are some strategies you can use to help you & your little one adjust & re-connect through play.

POWER-REVERSAL GAMES

When our kids feel out of control, confused & powerless, power-reversal games can really help.

What are they?

Power reversal games are just that, activities in which the parent-child roles are reversed: your child is strong, capable & in charge & you are (or pretend to be) inept, clumsy & weak.

Here are some examples of ways to incorporate this style of play:

🛋️Couch Game🛋️
Be the couch (or other soft surface) “guard” & have your child try to get past you. Have them use their physical strength OR think up creative tricks to get around you (such as distracting you, going between your legs, or even hypnotizing you). Make a big deal when they do get past, going on about how clever/strong they are.

🌭Feed Me🌭
Pretend your arms don’t work & allow your child to feed you. You can use things like apples/bread/cheese to minimise mess OR try in the bath/garden for a full-on messy experience.

😂No Giggling!😂
Make up a silly rule such as “no giggling,” “no smiling” or “no blinking” & then make a big (pretend) fuss about it when they break the rule. This allows them to make light of an area in their lives that is very challenging & will actually help them more easily follow the rules later.

🌷Be kind to yourself 🌷
It’s normal to feel stressed or overwhelmed sometimes as a parent. Give yourself some grace & compassion. We’re all doing the best we can.

#ParentingTips #PlayfulParenting #PowerReversalGames #ParentChildConnection #PlayToHeal #ParentingStrategies #PositiveParenting #PlayfulLearning #EmotionallyResponsiveParenting #ChildDevelopment #ParentingHacks #GentleParenting #ConnectedParenting #ParentingTools #EmpathyInParenting #RaisingKids #PlayBasedLearning #ParentingSupport #KidsAtPlay #SecureAttachment #BuildingResilience #BigFeelings #ParentingThroughPlay #ParentingIsHard #ParentingWins #ParentingIdeas

Why do some babies take to sleep routines easily, but for others, it’s a much bigger challenge?

There are many reasons for sleep difficulties; a big one is temperament.

The temperament a child is born with impacts the way they perceive & respond to the world around them. It affects how we experience emotions, regulate behaviour & feel in new situations.

There’s no right or wrong with temperament, just differences. We are each born with our temperament - it is not caused by a certain type of parenting.

Babies born with an ‘easy going’ temperament tend to have an easier time with sleep. They often fall into a routine without much fuss, wake up & fall asleep around the same times each day, adapting quickly & with less fuss to parent-led changes to the sleep routine.

Highly sensitive babies tend to have irregular sleep patterns & find it hard to adapt to new schedules/routines; they may wake in the middle of the night & find it challenging to go back to sleep without support from a caregiver.

In fact, research shows that most children with sleep problems tend to have these temperament qualities: highly active, low regularity, highly reactive, low adaptability, high sensitivity, high intensity, low distractibility, high persistence. These traits can make for a successful, empathic & ambitious adult – but boy, can they make sleep hard in the early years!

E.g. if your baby has irregular biorhythms (doesn’t tend to eat or sleep at the same time) trying to get them to stick to a strict schedule will likely cause a lot of friction between you two.

While there's not much we can do to change our baby’s temperament, there are ways we can work with it to make life easier.

Some babies will happily nap anywhere & everywhere, while other babies will need a particular routine & environment to find sleep.

If you need to make changes to the sleep pieces that aren’t working for you anymore, babies with slow to warm or sensitive temperaments tend to need caregivers to move much more slowly & be prepared to support more emotions during the change.

How has your child’s temperament impacted their sleep?

References: Atkinson & Grayson 1995; Touchette et al 2005

Although society often recognise that the future lies in our children, far too many children experience Adverse Childhood Events (known as ACEs) which can impact their ability to have healthy & fulfilling adults lives.

Adverse Childhood Events (aka ACEs) include abuse, family/household challenges, and neglect. Specifically, an ACE is quantified as experiencing one or more of the following in your household prior to the age of 18:

Recurrent physical abuse
Recurrent emotional abuse
Sexual abuse
An alcohol and/or drug abuser in the household
An incarcerated household member
Someone who is chronically depressed, mentally ill, institutionalised, or suicidal
Domestic violence
One or no parents
Emotional or physical neglect

The scientific evidence is clear & consistent, ACEs experienced during early life development – without the protection of trusted, nurturing caregivers & safe environments – can lead to long-term disruptions in children’s brain development, immune, hormonal & metabolic systems, causing a toxic stress response.

Not all stress is bad. Some stress is a necessary & even essential part of growth & development. There are 3 types:

⭐ Positive Stress
Brief elevations in stress hormones, heart rate & blood pressure in response to a routine stressor (e.g. a race or game).

💪 Tolerable Stress
Time-limited activation of the stress response that if buffered by relationships with adults who help the child adapt, the brain & other organs recover (e.g. natural disaster).

😳 Toxic Stress
High doses of adversity experienced during critical & sensitive periods of early development, without adequate buffering protections, can become “biologically imbedded” leading to the toxic stress response (e.g. ACEs).

Conversely, strong supportive relationships are what allow children to better manage life’s stressors. The research shows that healthy & secure relationships with caregivers improves children’s mental, cognitive, cardiovascular & immune health. Investing in our connections with our children is investing in their future health & well-being.

Boullier, M., & Blair, M. (2018). Adverse childhood experiences. Paediatrics and Child Health, 28(3), 132-137.

We all have sensory preferences. Some of us hate the feeling of wet sand on our body at the beach, for some it’s the smell of perfume, the texture of sunscreens or makeup, particular sounds (nails on a chalkboard) or any number of different sensory experiences.

This is sensory processing. Sensory processing refers to how we take in, interpret and respond to sensory information from the world around us. For children, sensory preferences or sensitivities can significantly influence behaviour, emotions and how they interact with others. Understanding these differences helps us provide the support they need to thrive.

Some children are highly sensitive to sensory input, finding bright lights, loud noises, or certain textures overwhelming. Others may crave sensory stimulation, feeling the need to spin, climb or touch a variety of surfaces. These responses are rooted in the nervous system and are not behaviours children can easily control.

When children experience sensory overload or unmet sensory needs, it can show up in their behaviour. A child overwhelmed by noise might cover their ears or withdraw, while one seeking sensory input might fidget or struggle to sit still. Recognising these cues is key to responding with empathy rather than frustration.

Creating a sensory-friendly environment can help. For a sensory-sensitive child, offering noise-cancelling headphones, dim lighting or a quiet space can reduce stress. For sensory seekers, providing opportunities for movement (like jumping or pushing heavy objects) or tactile exploration (like playdough or sand) can meet their needs in constructive ways.

Understanding sensory processing is not about “fixing” our child but recognising their unique needs and strengths. With patience, compassion, and the right supports, we can help our children navigate their sensory world with greater comfort and confidence.

References: Welters-Davis & Mische Lawson 2011; Greven et al 2019; Robertson & Simmons 2013

#SensorySensitivities #SensoryPreference #SensorySeeking #SensoryAvoidance #SensoryProcessing #SensoryDifferences #SensoryOverload #SensorySupport #SensoryNeeds #SensoryAwareness #NeurodiverseKids

Children have two main (non-physical based) drives. The need for connection, and the need for exploration.

Exploration and connection are not separate processes; they work in harmony to support a child’s emotional, cognitive, and social growth. Together, they provide the foundation for children to thrive.

Connection is brilliant because it:

❤ Supports Emotional Security
Providing children with a sense of safety and belonging. When they feel emotionally secure, they are better able to manage stress, explore their environment, and build relationships.

❤ Builds Resilience
Strong connections help children feel supported during challenges. When they know they have a dependable caregiver to turn to, they’re better equipped to handle setbacks and bounce back from difficulties.

❤ Promotes Emotional Regulation
Through attuned caregiving, children learn to understand and manage their emotions. A caregiver’s calm presence helps them co-regulate and develop self-control over time.

❤ Encourages Exploration
Connection acts as a "secure base," giving children the courage to explore and take risks, knowing they have a safe place to return to.

Exploration is a fundamental part of childhood because it drives learning, growth, and development. It also helps with:

🏞️ Building Brain Connections:
Every time children explore—whether it’s touching new textures, observing their surroundings, or solving puzzles—they’re creating neural pathways in their brains. This hands-on learning is how young brains grow and adapt.

🏞️ Developing Independence:
Exploration gives children the chance to make decisions and solve problems on their own. It helps them build confidence in their abilities and fosters a sense of autonomy.

🏞️ Understanding the World:
Through exploration, children learn how things work, build relationships with others, and discover their interests and passions.

Gentle parenting is an evidence-based approach to raising happy, confident children. This parenting style is composed of four main elements—empathy, respect, understanding, and boundaries—and focuses on fostering the qualities you want in your child by being compassionate and enforcing consistent boundaries.

Gentle parenting is often (incorrectly) associated with permissive or weak parenting. I think this quote by St Francis de Sales provides the best answer to any such claims: “There is nothing so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.”

If you were lost in the wilderness, with no idea about what to do, or where to go, you would feel lost. For our children, life can feel this way at times. Now, if you were this time, in the wilderness with someone who knew the way, you would feel a whole lot safer. Even though you might not always like their suggestions (maybe you want to explore a path and they won’t allow it) you feel a whole lot safer knowing that they have a plan, they know the way through and they will make sure you stay safe.

Gently providing and enforcing boundaries helps children feel safe and secure. Even if they don’t like the boundaries, they are always secure in the knowledge that someone bigger, stronger and wiser has their back and is watching out for them.

References: Steinberg, Elmen, & Mounts 1989; Blandon & Volling 2008; Augustine & Stifter 2015

#GentleParenting #PositiveParenting #ParentingTips #EvidenceBasedParenting #ParentingSupport #ConnectedParenting #ParentChildConnection #ChildDevelopment #ParentingTools #RaisingKids #ParentingScience #GentleDiscipline #SecureAttachment #ParentingWisdom #ParentingJourney #EmpathyInParenting #RespectfulParenting #ParentingResearch #UnderstandingKids #ParentingAdvice #BuildingResilience #ParentingLife #EmotionallyResponsiveParenting #ParentingForConnection #ParentingWins #RaisingConfidentKids #ParentingChallenges #MindfulParenting #ParentingWithScience #AttachmentParenting

Creativity is a vital skill that fosters problem-solving, self-expression, and resilience. Through play and art, children explore their imaginations, process their experiences, and develop innovative thinking. Supporting creativity isn’t about achieving polished results but about nurturing curiosity and a willingness to experiment.

Research shows that unstructured play is one of the best ways to encourage creativity. Open-ended materials like building blocks, dress-ups, and natural objects inspire children to think flexibly and invent their own worlds. A cardboard box might transform into a rocket, a house, or a hiding spot—allowing the child’s imagination to take centre stage.

Art also provides powerful opportunities for creativity. Painting, drawing, sculpting, and crafting allow children to express their thoughts and emotions in ways that words sometimes can’t. Process-focused activities (like mixing colours or exploring textures) are especially valuable because they encourage experimentation without pressure to create a “perfect” product.

Creating a supportive environment for creativity is key. Providing a variety of materials, giving children ample time for exploration, and allowing for messiness all help creativity flourish. Importantly, resist the urge to direct or critique their work. Instead, show interest by asking questions like, “Tell me about what you made!” or, “What inspired you to choose these colours?”

Everyday moments can also nurture creativity. Cooking, gardening, or storytelling involve opportunities for imaginative thinking and problem-solving. Even boredom can spark creativity, as it pushes children to invent their own entertainment.
By fostering an environment rich in play, art, and exploration, we help our children build confidence in their ideas and an openness to new possibilities. Creativity isn’t just about making things—it’s a way of thinking and engaging with the world that will serve them throughout life.

References: Sawyer 2020; Earnshaw 2016; Runco 1989

#FosteringCreativity #CreativePlay #ImaginativePlay #PlayToLearn #CuriosityDriven #CreativeThinking #MessyPlay #ProcessOverProduct #PlayBasedLearning

Children typically begin to understand the concept of the passage of time, and the idea of "New Year's" as marking a new year between the ages of 4 and 6. Of course, this understanding evolves over time and depends on their exposure to discussions about time and calendars.

Developmental Milestones That Influence Understanding "Time"

🥳 Around 4–5 years old
At this stage, children are developing a basic sense of time, including the sequencing of events. They may grasp that "New Year's" means something is starting fresh, particularly if it's tied to visible rituals like counting down, fireworks, or resolutions.

🥳 Around 6–7 years old
As their cognitive abilities develop further, children begin to understand the calendar as a system and the idea that "a year" is a measurable unit of time that ends and begins again. They can relate this to personal experiences, like birthdays or holidays happening annually.

🥳 Around 8–10 years old
By this age, children generally have a concrete understanding of the yearly cycle, including the significance of "New Year's" as a reset point in time. They may also start thinking about goals or changes they want to make, aligning with the idea of resolutions.

How to Foster Understanding

🥳 For younger children: Using visuals like calendars or commenting on seasonal changes can help explain the concept of a year. Connecting it to things they experience annually, like holidays or birthdays is also useful

🥳 For older children: Talking about traditions, like making resolutions, and involving them in discussions about how we mark time and look forward to the future can support their understanding

Kids learn through observation, so involving them in family New Year's traditions is a great way to help them understand and feel included in this annual milestone.

References: Zhang & Hudson, 2018; Barton & Levstik, 1996; Vukelich & Thornton, 1990

#newyear #newyears #timepassing #understandingtime #abstracttime #childdevelopment #cognitivedevelopment

Why Does Children’s Behaviour Gets Worse Around the Holidays?

Ever notice how our kiddos seem to have big feelings, and big behaviours more over the Christmas break? You’re not alone. This time of year can be overwhelming for all of us — kids included. Here's why their behaviour might take a turn, and what we can do to help.

1. Routines Go Out the Window
Holidays often mean disrupted schedules. Late nights, travel, or skipped naps can leave kids tired and dysregulated. Young children often rely on predictable routines to feel safe, and when those routines disappear, their ability to cope with stress is vastly reduced.

2. Sensory Overload
The holiday season is full of bright lights, loud noises, new places, and different people. While fun for some, this sensory input can overwhelm kids, especially those with sensitive temperaments. Behaviour like meltdowns or defiance might be their way of saying, “I need a break!”

3. Emotional Overflow
Holidays bring big emotions — excitement, anxiety, anticipation, and even disappointment. Kids often lack the skills to process these feelings, so they can show up as challenging behaviours instead.

4. Pressure to Be “Good”
Children might hear constant reminders to behave, “Be good for Santa!” but this added pressure can backfire. Kids don’t act out because they want to ruin the holiday; they’re just navigating an emotional and physical storm they don’t yet understand.

How we can help
🎄Stick to routines where possible. When you can, try to be consistent meals and bedtimes - it can make a big difference.
🎄Provide sensory breaks. A quiet corner or downtime can help them recharge.
🎄Name their feelings. Validating their emotions teaches kids that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. If you feel the same way, tell them. Knowing they're not alone in these big and scary feelings can be so empowering for them.
🎄Lower expectations. Remember, they’re kids navigating a complex world. They often don't know what they plan is, who Great Aunt Tricia is or why she wants to hug them or when they'll get some down time.

The best gift we can give our kids is our patience, understanding, and connection during this busy time. ❤️

#holidayseason

Emotional regulation is a cornerstone of healthy development, enabling children to understand, express & manage their emotions effectively. While some children seem naturally more adept at handling feelings, emotional regulation is a skill that can be nurtured through consistent support & practice.

In childhood, the brain areas responsible for regulating emotions (like the prefrontal cortex) are still developing. This is why young children often experience intense emotions without yet having the tools to manage them. They rely on caregivers for co-regulation (helping them to calm down) & making sense of what they’re feeling.
The first step in supporting emotional regulation is helping children learn that even though emotions can feel big & scary, they will pass.

We can help when big emotions arise by focusing on connection. By staying calm & present, offering physical comfort or a soothing voice we can show our children & their nervous system that it’s possible to feel big emotions & still be safe. We can do this for our kiddos when they’re newborns & all the way into their teenage years.

For our bigger kiddos, we can help them identify their emotions. When we label their feelings (“You’re angry because your tower fell”) we build emotional awareness & vocabulary. Naming emotions also sends a powerful message: all feelings are valid, even if not all behaviours are.

Once a child is calm, guide them in exploring ways to manage similar situations in the future. Strategies might include deep breathing, sensory activities, or expressing emotions through art or play. Importantly, these skills take time & repeated practice to internalise.

Remember, the goal isn’t to eliminate big emotions but to teach children how to handle them constructively. By modelling emotional regulation ourselves & responding with empathy, we create a safe environment where they can learn to process their feelings.

Over time, these small, consistent interactions lay the foundation for lifelong emotional resilience, helping our children feel confident navigating the highs & lows of life.

References: Lieberman et al. 2007; Siegal & Payne Bryson 2012

As we wrap up another year, I want to take a moment to thank you for being part of this community. Whether you’ve joined us for evidence-based insights, playful learning ideas, or heartfelt and honest discussions about parenting and child development, you being here is what makes this space so special.

Christmas is a time for connection, reflection, and celebrating the little moments that make family life so meaningful. Whether we're soaking up the magic of our children’s excitement, finding joy in quiet moments, or simply making it through the chaos with a smile (and maybe a coffee), I hope this season brings warmth and peace to your home.

Remember, we don’t need a picture-perfect holiday for it to be meaningful. Messy, chaotic and imperfect moments are real and authentic, real experiences are the ones that leave the biggest mark on our hearts.

From my little family to yours, I wish you a day filled with love, laughter, and memories. Thank you for being part of this journey - I can’t wait for us to continue learning, growing, and connecting with on another in the year ahead.

Warm wishes and merry everything,
Siobhan at Science Minded

#MerryChristmas #ScienceMinded #ParentingJourney #FamilyMoments #ChildDevelopment #AttachmentMatters #ConnectionOverPerfection #RaisingGoodHumans #ParentingSupport #CircleOfSecurity #EmbraceTheMess #ParentingWithHeart #EvidenceBasedParenting #ChristmasMagic

Fantasy is a normal and healthy part of development. Between 3-8 years, children’s imagination blurs the line between fantasy & reality, making it easy for them to believe. Santa belief is at its height during this time of a child’s life.

However, Santa Claus can be controversial among parents. “It’s wrong to lie to my children.” “What happens when they find out?” Despite these concerns, it’s important to remember that the premise of Santa is really quite lovely. It’s a shared cultural commitment to kids. A commitment to bring magic & happiness into their lives.

How we engage in the myth is what’s important. Some take the idea too far: forcing children to sit on Santa’s lap or using it as a threat. Using Santa as a disciplinary method sends mixed messages. Children become confused about whether he is here to spread joy, or punish them for their misdeeds.

Above all, parents should respect their child's imagination & let them take the lead. If your child initiates a question, be honest. If they ask whether Santa is real, a response like “Santa is a wonderful idea about someone who wants to bring happiness to children" could work for you.

When children discover the truth, there are thoughtful ways to support them. Let them know it’s okay to feel sad & grieve their loss. However, the research shows that for most children, the discovery is not traumatic. Instead, many view it as having solved a logic puzzle (How does he get to every house in the world?)

One way to keep Santa special post-‘discovery’ is to facilitate the transition from believer to cultural co-conspirator. Discuss with them ways they can help bring the magic to younger family members or friends. Talk about how Christmas time is about helping the less fortunate. After all, Saint Nicholas helped the poor by offering them money and gifts. What a beautiful opportunity to talk with your children about the importance of generosity & kindness?

No matter how you celebrate the holidays or which traditions you embrace, enjoy the magic of the season, may it be merry and bright.

References: Woolley 1997; Anderson & Prentice 1994; Deci et al 1999

#santaclaus #childdevelopment #naughtyornice

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