Children's brains are not wired for schedules, chores or plans

Not only is "making things fun" an obviously pleasant thing to do, there is also some science and logic behind why it is beneficial for our little ones. Within the context of family life our children develop their relationship skills and learn to integrate themselves with others. It’s where they learn to go from self-focus to self & other-focus – they go from “me to we”.

One of the biggest predictors of success is healthy social and emotional skills. To develop these skills, children must move away from thinking selfishly about their own needs and wants (normal for young children) to thinking about and empathising with others. They learn this skill, first and foremost, from their interactions within their family.

They don’t learn it from us lecturing or telling them how important it is to think about others. They learn it from experiencing being in relationship and interacting with those who are closest to them. They learn from us when we participate in an activity they enjoy and empathise with their enjoyment of what they’re doing. They learn it when they experience the connection and closeness of us making an effort to see things from their point of view when they feel hurt or wronged.

So often as parents, we find ourselves spending most of our time either capital P ‘parenting’ or carting them from one activity to the next, and not enough time just enjoying being with them. By making a concerted effort to build fun into the family, so that our kids enjoy positive and satisfying experiences with the people they’re closest to.

There are simply ways to make the mundane fun!

• Add food colouring to the bath.

• Have dinner outside as a picnic.

• Have a pillow or tickle fight before bed.
  

What ways do you find the fun factor in

your family?

Some things to think about:

What are the consistent, intentional ways that you parent playfully with your kids each day?

• Every week?

• If you don’t engage playfully, why not?

• What are the reasons that you have often found yourself using?

References: Cooper et al 2011; Hoffman et al 2006; Powell et al 2013; Wu, Tian, Chen, & Cui (2024)